This is Marriage

Friday, Paul returned home after being gone at a training for almost three weeks. THREE WEEKS PEOPLE! 

Thankfully trips like this don't happen often and comparatively they are short lived to what some other military spouses have to go through. This trip was pretty special however as pretty much as soon as Paul left, things just started to go WRONG. 

The day he left the tire light came on in my car. I've had some tire issues lately (two new tires and then I drove over a razorblade...) so the fact that another issue with a tire was happening was exhausting me to no end. 

Now, I'm sure I could figure how to change a flat tire if I REALLY WANTED TO, but I just don't really want to. Like ever. So obviously I wasn't excited about a tire light being on. I was terrified that the tire was going to be flat every time I walked out to the car until I could get it to Costco for a check. Luckily I was able to get it fixed within a couple of days but then......

The ice in the refrigerator started to taste bad. It was subtle, but there was definitely a "taste". We changed the filter like a month ago, so I didn't think that was the problem. I googled the issue and the consensus was that I needed to take the filter out for a few days and then put it back in. It would result in the ice tasting like tap water, but this was the solution. I did this and the next day the refrigerator stopped making ice all together. I put the filter back in. Nothing. No water either. URG. Paul thinks he might be able to fix it but its bottled water and bags of ice until then. Could be worse, but still, it's annoying. 

Two days later I am at the back door letting the dogs out and what do I see hiding in the screen door track? 

A SNAKE.

Seriously?! Seriously. 

Thank goodness Kyle unexpectedly came home almost right at that moment and he took care of that for me. I honestly had no idea what to do. Oy. 

Then on Thursday, the day my good friends came into town for a weekend visit, I loaded up the washing machine to do a load and the thing fills up with water and then just stops. Nothing. Won't turn on. I mess with the outlet, hit the breaker...change the settings. NOTHING. 

So now I have a washer full of water and clothes floating around. Great. I text Paul and we start troubleshooting. We both come to the conclusion from our searching that the lid switch is probably broken. The video on how to fix it looks slightly complicated and where am I supposed to find a lid switch for a Kenmore 80 series anyway? 

Amazon of course. 

So anyway, we hem and haw a bit about what to do...do we call someone out to come and fix it for who knows how much? Do we get the replacement and I try to fix it myself? What do I do with a washing machine full of water and clothes? 

Why does Paul have to be gone right now? 

So I take all the clothes out and squeeeeeeze them and put them in the dryer and proceed to scoop out all the water in the machine and empty it into the nearby sink. I find my pink tool set, (because somehow I couldn't find ANY of Paul's tools) I start taking the thing apart. Before you know it I have the entire front of the washing machine off and lifted over the sink. 

I decide to fix it myself. I order the part and enjoy the weekend with my friends and Kyle heads to the laundromat to wash his work uniform. 

Monday comes and the part arrives and I watch a YouTube video about four times while I'm replacing the part. I get it all done and get the front back on the machine and snap and screw everything back together, convinced I had done everything right. I hit the switch.

Nothing. 

My spirit broke. I sat in the laundry room and sobbed for a good 5 minutes. 

I texted Paul and told him that it didn't work and for some strange reason at that moment I decided to look at the outlet again. I had messed with the breaker and I thought maybe I had left it in the wrong position or something. I hit it and pulled the knob on the washer and it started WORKING!!!!!

I couldn't believe it. I was still a little weary and didn't believe it was actually fixed until I did an entire load of laundry, but you know what? I've been doing loads for the past two weeks with no issue.

I fixed that thing. 

I texted Paul back and sent him a little video of the washer spinning. Later when he talked he told me how proud he was of me and how he bragged to the guys at training that his wife fixed the washing machine all by herself. It was killing him not to be here to take care of these things, but he was brimming with pride that I handled it. 

This is the real stuff guys. Things go wrong. At all the wrong times. I didn't love the fact that Paul's work took him away from me during a time when a lot of stuff was malfunctioning. For better or worse. He wasn't there in person but he was in spirit. He listened while I cried and prayed for me and cheered for me when that laundry got done. 

This is marriage. 

And I love it. 

The marriage covenant

Four years, four months and twenty three days…. this is how long we have been involved in a marriage covenant.

Through five houses, thousands of miles, grey and rainy Seattle days to hot and blustery California afternoons and now to an east coast lifestyle that two west coasters have never experienced before…

Through quitting jobs and new careers, saying goodbye to furry friends, saying hello to new human friends, endless belly laughs and never ending tears about insecurity, fears, loneliness and despair.

Weeklong road trips, puking on planes, unreasonable bosses, 17 hour days, car crashes, swollen hands and rage during 10k runs, Netflix marathons, crappy dinners, not quite fried enough turkeys, triathlons, teenagers…..

Growth in knowledge and understanding of the love and grace shed up on us by Him…

This is our covenant.

We did not make a contract with each other. We did not say, “I’m in…. as long as you hold up your end of the bargain.....otherwise…I’m out.”

We said, “I’m in…. even if you fail. Even if you let me down. Even if the butterflies go away. Even if it gets hard. Even if I'm not "happy". Even if you don’t hold up your end of the deal. I’m in, no matter what. “

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract.

A covenant can really and truly only be understood through the eyes of the Lord. In the way he sees us. How else could it make sense? His covenant with us guides us and leads the way. How would it even be possible without His intervention? It's not, which is why marriage is the perfect earthly picture of his relationship with us. This is why I'm involved with weddings and marriages and covenant. It's worth achieving what it was designed to be. 

I am personally so blessed to be in covenant with this man named Paul who promised to love, cherish and put me first despite all of my shortcomings and inability to achieve perfection. It is my hope and daily prayer that all those who enter into the marriage covenant are able to experience the joy that accompanies such a promise.