Lessons in Perspective

Two weeks ago today we moved into our new home in NJ. We've been busy buying and building furniture (IKEA for the win!), meeting some neighbors (we have Bob's on either side of us and a Paul across the street...no joke!), unpacking and organizing, exploring and getting to know our neighborhood, and counting the different types of animals that make their way into our backyard. Three so far, a deer, a woodchuck (which is also known as a groundhog...the names are synonymous <--- we looked it up!) and a FOX! Kyle is the one who saw the fox and when I asked him what he said, I got one of the best "looks" I have seen in a while.

You know the kind that are like, I kind of want to laugh, but I'm a teenager so whatever you say automatically isn't funny type of looks. 

Anywho, I have taken this time to really just dig into the house and focus solely on getting things put together and "livable" and it honestly has been great. There is a lot to be said for allowing yourself time every now and then to just take a step back and breathe. I'm at a bit of a "starting over" phase with my business so I might not have an opportunity to do this again for a while! 

This is our backyard. Now you see why all the animals of the forest like to come hang out with us. BTW...that is Guinness, NOT a sly little fox. =) 

In addition to IKEA, Target, Pier 1, and Bed, Bath and Beyond, we have spent an inordinate amount of time in Home Depot. Paul is in heaven! 

A view from my morning walk in the neighborhood. I see many walks in my future. Guinness is gonna get a workout! 

Despite the brief time away, the mind of an entrepreneur never really shuts off. Even though I haven't been "actively" working on my business, I have been thinking a lot about where I want to go next and how I want to get there. 

The word PERSPECTIVE has been crossing my mind a lot since we moved. My situation is not ideal for a self-employed photographer, blogger and business owner.

I have what feels like a impossibly difficult to climb mountain directly in front of my face.

It's been staring me down ever since I knew for sure we were moving. How are you going to deal with this Cinnamon? Good luck getting to the top of me! This situation is insurmountable, good luck trying to figure it out! You should probably just give up and turn around because I'm too high, too rocky, you are totally going to fall off and fall flat on your face, why even try? 

I could do that. I could turn around and walk away. I could take this situation I am in and complain and cry and whine about how life isn't fair and none of the other "popular" photographers and business owners I follow have had to deal with THIS mountain! They haven't struggled against THESE difficulties. They have never had to move their family and business across the country. They are a husband and wife team, how hard can it be! They have 10k followers on Instagram and thousands of blog followers, of COURSE it works out for them!! 

But then the wise words of Sister Hazel ring through my mind....

If you wanna be somebody else....change your mind. 

Perspective shift. 

The way we THINK about things influences every aspect of our lives. If I am constantly looking up at the mountain and thinking about how big it is, I'll never climb it. I have to just start. One step at a time. Sure maybe it will take a while...maybe even a really, really long while.

But if what is at the top is important enough, the steps are 100% necessary.

Spending my time looking at others who are already SPRINTING down the backside of the mountain does NOTHING to help me achieve my own goals. 

This week I read something that resonated with me especially in this season I am in. (If you aren't signed up for Seth Godin's newsletter...go sign up! .....after you finish this post of course...) 

...We don't have to look very far to find someone who is better paid, more respected and getting more than his fair share of credit.

And social media: Of course there are people with more followers, more likes and more of just about anything you'd like to measure.

So what?

What is the comparison for?  Is it your job to be the most at a thing?

.....Just because a thing can be noticed, or compared, or fretted over doesn't mean it's important, or even relevant....

The most important comparison, in fact, is comparing your work to what you're capable of. 

I know what I am capable of. This needs to be my perspective. What am I doing compared to what I know I am capable of doing? That gets me excited. That gets me jazzed. That does not make me want to cry or whine. It scares me a little because it might involve a lot of hard work, but I KNOW the top of the mountain is within reach, the steps just need to start. 

Have you thought about what you are capable of? How can you relate that to your business? Tell me all about it in the comments or in an email! 

Time out {Its going to be ok}

I debated writing this post. I went back and forth and forth and back. 

Being a small business owner who is passionate about learning and growing, I am constantly reading and learning from others. The only problem with this is that sometimes you end up with conflicting information. One expert says, "DO THIS!"  and another expert says "No, certainly DON'T do that" regarding the exact same thing. It can be exhausting. 

Its time for a little vulnerability. I debated on posting because a lot of advice I have seen leans towards avoiding vulnerability. Don't share the negative because who wants to read about that? No one wants to see Debbie Downer and Negative Nancy blog posts! To a point I agree. But on the same hand, I also feel that it's that push towards a lack of vulnerability that has led me to feel the way I am feeling lately. 

There is this constant pressure to craft and curate our social media lives in a way that ends up altering the perceived reality of the actual reality. We all know it happens but it doesn't make it any easier when faced with post after post after image after image of seemingly perfect and exciting adventures that we are NOT experiencing ourselves. 

I've been feeling the feels lately. ALL of them. I've cried more in the past four weeks than I think I have all year. I briefly mentioned something on facebook and instagram the other day about how I am feeling and people reached out. People I didn't even know where watching. That brief moment of vulnerability was also a chance to connect. To let others know in some small way that even though there are a thousand awesome things happening, there are also another hundred things that sting. That hurt. That cut deep. There are endless unknowns and what if's and how do I's? We ALL feel that from time to time and it is a connection point for us all. And even though raw and exposed moments happen for all of us from time to time....there is a constant nudge....

Its going to be ok. 

So here I am sharing some vulnerability with those out there in my little online circle. Maybe it's not good for business and maybe this won't happen often, and maybe I'm ignoring advice from some really successful peeps, but I wanted to share some of my heart with you, friends, in an effort to let you know, it's not perfect, it's not amazing (all the time) and I struggle just as much as the next guy.

Even though I tend to be an extremely optimistic, realistic and accountable person, I struggle with many things. I struggle with worry, I struggle with doubt, I struggle with feeling productive and successful, I struggle with feeling left out and not liked, I struggle with my weight, I struggle with patience. 

This past month all of these struggles have been magnified by what feels like 100%. Moving across the country, living in a relatively comfortable but still not "home" cabin with two teenagers, two dogs a ridiculously tiny kitchen and no personal space, not having things that you need when you need them, not knowing anyone, not knowing the area, not working, not knowing when you will start working again, not being able to make a phone call without getting in the car and driving down to the mall, and having no idea when you can start working on making your goals and dreams a reality....all of these things seem to make even tiny issues seem worse than they really are.

I am constantly reminding myself to see the positives in our situation, and believe me they are there: more time with Paul than I have had in a while, endless TV show marathons (Under the Dome, Teen Wolf and Last Man on Earth have all been devoured mercilessly) snuggled on the couch, ice cream or popcorn somewhere nearby...., exploring the new area, seeing water and trees again, finding a church...

I am a firm believer in trying to learn as much as possible from any situation I encounter. This time and season in my life is teaching me a lot and even though I am ready for it to be over, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned and I am going to strive not to forget them. I don't write this post to complain even though it may seem like it. I generally stay away from complaining because I feel like 1) if you have time to complain about something, you probably have time to actually do something about it to try to change the situation instead 2) complaining about things doesn't actually get you anywhere, you have to take action. 

These are the actions I have decided on for the next couple of weeks: 

We close on our house TODAY! We will likely spend the next week or two unpacking and settling in. I'm giving myself this time to just be with my family and not worry about keeping up with social media. TIME OUT. And you know what?

It's going to be ok. 

I am also going to stop reading and looking at some specific accounts on social media for the while. I have noticed a very specific reaction I have had lately to certain posts from a select few that have no result other than me feeling bad about myself. I feel like I will never be accomplished enough, or successful enough or good enough. It's not their intention in any way shape or form, but at this season in my life, that is my reaction. It would be silly to continue on that path. And you know what?

Its going to be ok. 

I don't really know if I accomplished anything through this post. I hope I connected with a few of you out there and even though I mostly complained about the insignificant minutiae of my day to day right now, I hope that somehow there is some encouragement in there. Some revelation that we are not alone, we all struggle, we all feel the feels. And sometimes it just helps to talk and write and be vulnerable despite the risks. My prayer for you and me, is that we both understand that it's all going to be ok. 

Love you friends. Thank you for reading. See you in a few weeks!