Three steps
Prayer
I am deeply rooted in my faith and prayer is always something I aspire to do even though most of the time I fail miserably. Personable ambition and hard work is never a bad thing, but my hope is also rooted in the fact that God has my back. He works all things together for the good of those who love him (Rom 8:28) and that gives me more hope and joy than anything I could ever accomplish on my own. The only way to know and believe in that is through relationship with Him and how else do you build relationships? Through talking!! That's the value in prayer.
Unfollow
This was hard. An unfollow without explanation or conversation is tough. Its like when you accidentally cut someone off in traffic. You know it was a mistake but the other guy just thinks you are a jerk.
A few months ago I made the conscious decision to unfollow MANY people on social media (Instagram mostly). I still have other ways of connecting with some of these folks on occasion to keep informed (every now and then) on what they are up too, but the amazing and life shaking things they are doing aren't in my face everyday.
Please don't confuse this with jealousy or ill-intent. I love these people and cheer for them and think they are rocking at so much, but I don't know them personally. I don't know their struggles. I don't have a relationship with them. There is too much information missing for me to have healthy and growth inspiring thoughts when I am surrounded by their info.
I also found myself to be heavily swayed by actions they were taking for their own business or goals they had set. I could see myself slowing morphing into wanting to do everything they do since their life seems so great. I was struggling to come up with original thoughts and my creativity was slumped. On occasion I would have some great idea that came to me while driving or in the shower only to see them launching a full product on that exact same idea the next day! Talk about deflating!
In the time I have been more separated from others on social media, I have felt some of my creativity and drive return. The combination of removing myself from tempting situations (tempting to compare myself with others) plus goal writing has freed me up to return the attention to where it actually needs to be: on my own business.
Write everything down
I'm still working on this, but it the absolute crux of understanding your own success. Seeing and measuring it in written form.
- If your goal is to book 4 new clients in the next month and you are in the process of responding to 6 inquiries per week, why would someone having 500 more followers on IG make you feel lousy?
- If your goal is work four days out of the week in order to spend more time with your family and you are currently doing that and feeling comfortable with your workload, why would someone traveling all over the country speaking at workshops and conferences make you feel like you can't ever keep up?
- If your goal is to make $35k this year and your are currently on track to do exactly that, why does someone's perfectly curated Instagram feed make you want to throw in the towel?
- If your goal is to cultivate one on one relationships with new business owners in order to help them grow and feel not as alone then why does that announcement of another 20 attendee workshop launching make you feel like a total failure? (<----I'm being vulnerable with you guys right here...)
My point is this: Writing down your goals frees you of the comparison and allows you to refocus on yourself. But you also have to make sure the goals have an end purpose. A goal of 1000 Instagram followers does nothing for you unless that translates into a bigger purpose for your business.
It is fantastic to push yourself and dream big dreams, but if you don't attach something tangible to those dreams to monitor your progress, you will either constantly feel like you are failing or you will flounder around from one thing to the next wondering why none of it is working.
My challenge for you today is to write down two goals that you want to achieve in the next month. Make those goals SMART. If you are feeling brave, leave them in the comments. ;-)